Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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