i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
