Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
