I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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