He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize