I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
