I wanna bring you to show and tell
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
