Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
