just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I don't think brook has ever known best
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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