chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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