so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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