i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
