The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.