Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."