i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
