Texts From Last Night

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  (+44): View more from England

  Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.

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  (+44): Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food. http://tfl.nu/05sf
  Replies (20) Good night (3722) Bad night (861)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks

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  (413): At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks http://tfl.nu/fbkp
  Replies (15) Good night (945) Bad night (2810)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?

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  (301): why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher? http://tfl.nu/k3ff
  Replies (18) Good night (4283) Bad night (686)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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  (709): How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship? http://tfl.nu/5n74
  Replies (33) Good night (2446) Bad night (4763)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."

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  (+44): All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis." http://tfl.nu/rkkz
  Replies (10) Good night (1033) Bad night (3210)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.

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  (703): We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day. http://tfl.nu/6fp1
  Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (2059)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list

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  (573): welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list http://tfl.nu/7gq6
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (776)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.

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  (425): She had caution tape on her head and she blew me. http://tfl.nu/1dhj
  Replies (8) Good night (1627) Bad night (586)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?

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  (217): I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right? http://tfl.nu/k5yu
  Replies (11) Good night (707) Bad night (1054)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke

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  (416): Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke http://tfl.nu/mtw8
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (1308)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  can anyone on this campus do anything sober?

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  (574): can anyone on this campus do anything sober? http://tfl.nu/gpdm
  Replies (3) Good night (926) Bad night (812)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it

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  (630): Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it http://tfl.nu/2jtg
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (616)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I probably wouldn't

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  (443): Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood (410): I probably wouldn't http://tfl.nu/wahv
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (325)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.

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  (973): And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop. http://tfl.nu/sq27
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (307)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.

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  (479): I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience. http://tfl.nu/fk3c
  Replies (2) Good night (422) Bad night (188)

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