Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...

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(707): View more from California

Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?

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(714): View more from California

Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".

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(954): View more from Florida

The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.

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(714): View more from California

someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.

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