Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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