NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.