Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.