I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
