I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
