I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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