I love black thongs
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
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he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
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also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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