I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
