Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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