I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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