If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
