man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
