just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
