You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
