Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
