Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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