Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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