He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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