I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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