Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
