I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
