I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
