You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Send help, water and tortillas.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
