All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
A bitchslap is in order.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
