do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
