Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
