We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
