She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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