the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
