i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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