RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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