she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
