It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize