It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
