I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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