it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
