Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
