I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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