Tell her she can't have a vagina
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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