we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
