oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
