ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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