i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
