Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
